I am a recovered yes I said recovered drug addict and alcoholic. Most people that go to #AA everyday are consumed with the notion that they are diseased and therefor need the support of other diseased people who understand their debilitating disease. My brilliant doctors told me that I had alcoholism and that I needed to always be aware of that fact that I had the disease and would be in recovery.
Yesterday I ran 1 mile then jumped into 100 lunges, then ran another mile, and jumped into 100 squats, then ran another mile and did 100 pushups, then ran another mile and did 100 pullups, then ran another mile and did 100 burpees and then ran another mile. Then I cam home and had a fantastic protein and fresh fruit shake and then played with my son as I chased him down the street on his bike. I have a 24.2 BMI which is considered Normal. I used to be considered overweight at 180 pounds of rock solid muscle but since I started training for my first 12 mile obstacle course and run I have slimmed down so I can have the proper body type for running a race like this.
When I entered rehab I was 125 pounds and could not walk, had suffered multiple seizures, and could not think straight. what happened to my alcoholism why am I not diseased.
If you have read any of my past postings you will see the cramming anger with which I approach the alcoholism myth. It's because doctors, and people at the rehab center I went to continued to shove the idea down my throat that I was not like other people and that I had a disease. I actually believed it. Ii took depression meds to help me deal with the fact that because i was an alcoholic, I must be depressed. Or maybe i was depressed and became an alcoholic. Then I truly believed that I could stay sober by feeding off the so called positive energy of the #aa cult of interdependence. They call it support.
#truth. Here 's the deal. One day while sitting in an AA meeting I was listening to guy talking about this past and he started crying and something snapped inside of me. I realized that I didn't want to listen to this bitch's whining anymore and I wanted to get out of that room. I wanted to know that I was not going to be dependent on this room full of crying , bitching, moaning, defeatist, hand holding, cult -like losers who believed they were diseased.
Guess what. Give me any doctor anywhere in the world and have them examine me and tell me that I have alcoholism and I will pay you $1000.00. It simply does not exist. what does exist is the American Medical Association creating and sustaining the use of this word in order to fund research on this so called disease, the pharmaceutical companies continuing to benefit from new drugs that are thrown at people to help their alcoholism or other diagnosis that is necessarily the byproduct of alcoholism, the rehab centers who take $50,000 dollars from people to coddle them for 6 months to a year. Rehab centers truly believe that coddling people and talking a whole bunch of interdependent shit is going to prepare and addict to enter the real world.
The whole experienced amazed me so much that I am determined to open my own rehab center someday that will be more like the cross between a prison, cross fit gym, and military bootcamp. My higher power is in my mirror.
So let's pretend that I am and angry delusional asshole that is just spouting off opinion here.
Imagine that you get medically detoxed and are thrown into a prison cell with nothing but a pen, paper, and books and you are forced to be learn to know yourself. then slowly but surely a team of actual psychologists( not jerkoffs who run AA meetings) help you understand that you are not diseased, then slowly but surely you work yourself into an exercise regimen that gets your blood flowing again to your brain and the rest of your body. The you have a nutritionist who helps you learn how to eat properly so you can reach your goals. So then fast forward a few months and you are eating healthy, exercise daily , reading any book you choose to read, at least 1 a month and you are keeping a journal of your success.
Finally you wake up one day and you are running a few miles in the morning, hitting the weights in the afternoon, eating veggies and good food, have developed new interest from reading and have a journal that is a testimony to your great achievements. Finally you go to a medical doctor and you ask him how your alcoholism is progressing?
The doctor says," Alcoholism, well your liver took a beating but it will recover a little bit and you'll be just fine on that front, your pancreas is a little beat up from your acute pancreatitus attacks, and other that than all your vitals are normal and you are perfectly fine. As a matter of fact your exercise regimen has you at peak levels on most things and as long as you dont use or drink you will be perfectly fine.
Then you go to your psychologist and he says: Well the brain of an addict and alcoholic is permanently changed forever. You may be emotionally stuck at the age where you were when you started using and so you may have some developmental catching up to do in comparison to your peers. as long as you are aware of this you should be fine and be open with friend and future relationships. just be aware of it and compensate. The other thing is that your brain chemistry will always be seeking the immediate gratification of a drug or a drink so just don't do it. If your brain releases the chemicals that come with the immediate gratification of your prior habits your brain will tell your body to keep doing it and you will start right back on the path towards being an addict. Take up a different hobby and definitely exercise because it releases the same chemicals that your addiction id and its only good for you. You don't have a disease you are just forever changed and if you understand that you can use that knowledge to your advantage to become a healthy thriving individual. surround yourself with people that will challenge you and challenge those around you. The hardest thing to do is accept that you are not only not diseased but in fact you are triumphant for surviving this horrible experience. However, remember that you did this to yourself, noone did it to you and no set of circumstances or heredity caused your addiction. In the same way that there was nothing that caused this. There is nothing that can stop you from becoming not only "normal" bu better than you were before you became a addict or a drunk. more than 90% of addicts go back to using or drinking within the first month. There are very people on the planet that can remain sober for even a year after what you have been through, what will you do? Who will you be. what can you be. This is what I was told and the questions that i was asked.
Here is how I answer those questions 8 years later:
I am not a statistic
I am better than 99% of the sober or recovering people I meet because my opinion of myself is all that matters
I am in the best shape of my life
I eat like a well trained athlete and exercise 6 days a week to some degree
I am running an obstacle race
I am a successful executive at a growing company
I am a good man to those that deserve the pleasure of being in my world
I will support anyone who wants to help themselves
I do not rely on defeatist AA bound fat lazy losers who can't stand on their own two feet, they are not part of my world and don't deserve to be
My higher power stares at me from every mirror I look into
Someday when I am done doing the silly ass job I do now I will find someone to help me invest in a Center for Lasting Sobriety and in the process make #AA and #12 step and other rehab centers feel like an inferior way of thinking.
I am proof that alcoholism is not a disease and that my way is the right way. That is what I believe and if you don't keep doing whatever it is that you are doing to stay sober but keep in mind that you could be so much more than just an addict with some coins, who is powerless, and has a sponsor. You could be so much more than someone who believes they are diseased. You could be surrounding yourself with people that you don't need to be around because they support your sobriety. You could be surrounded by people who never had a problem with drugs or alcohol and want to be near you because you are the clearest definition of success, confidence, and strength that they have ever known.
If you find this offensive and you you don't like what I am saying. I don't really give a shit. That just means that you don't get the benefits of learning from me or knowing me. More importantly you don't get the benefits of knowing your true self!
Here's some science for ya!
for Alcohol Dependence
ScienceDaily (June 21, 2010) — Alcohol abuse is highly disruptive of circadian rhythms, and circadian disruptions can also lead to alcohol abuse as well as relapse in abstinent alcoholics. Circadian timing in mammals is regulated by light as well as other influences such as food, social interactions, and exercise. A new study of the relationship between alcohol intake and wheel-running in hamsters has found that exercise may provide an effective alternative for reducing alcohol intake in humans.
Results will be published in the September 2010 issue ofAlcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research and are currently available at Early View.
"Alcohol abuse, characterized by routine craving for and consumption of alcohol as well as an inability to function normally without it, disrupts both the timing and consolidation of daily circadian rhythms -- when to sleep, eat, and mate -- driven by the brain circadian clock," explained J. David Glass, professor of biological sciences at Kent State University and corresponding author for the study. "With continual alcohol use, one may go to bed too early or late, not sleep across the night, and have an unusual eating regime, eating little throughout the day and/or overeating at night. This can lead to a vicious cycle of drinking because these individuals, in response, will consume more alcohol to fall asleep easier only to complain of more disrupted sleep across the night and additionally have a greater craving for alcohol."
In other words, said Alan M. Rosenwasser, professor of psychology at the University of Maine, chronic alcohol abuse and circadian disruption become reciprocally destructive and result in negative effects on physical and emotional health. "It is therefore very interesting that access to running wheels or other forms of voluntary exercise in animal experiments has emerged as a powerful environmental factor influencing brain health, circadian rhythms, and emotional well-being," he said.
Glass agreed, noting that exercise is important in the non-photic regulation of circadian timing. "Restricting animals from exercising," he said, "such as blocking access to a running wheel as we did in this study, had a significant stimulatory effect on alcohol consumption."
Glass and his colleagues tested for three things: the effects of wheel-running on chronic free-choice consumption of an alcohol (20% v/v) and water solution; the effects of alcohol consumption on wheel-running in alcohol-naïve hamsters; and the influence of constant light (LL) on both alcohol consumption and wheel-running behavior.
"In this study, we found that the more the hamsters ran, the less they consumed alcohol," said Glass. "The 'lazier' hamsters that did not run as much had a greater craving for and consumption of alcohol, suggesting that exercise may be an effective, beneficial, and non-pharmacologic treatment option for alcoholism."
"It seems that alcohol intake and voluntary exercise represent two forms of inherently rewarding behavior," added Rosenwasser, "and the rewarding effects of these two behaviors may partially substitute for one another. This finding suggests that the two behaviors are regulated by overlapping systems in the brain."
Glass agreed, noting that exercise appears able to alter the chemical environment of the brain in a manner similar to alcohol. "Dopamine is the primary chemical released within the brain in response to any type of reward, including exercise, drugs, food, and sex," he said. "For humans, exercise may be an effective, beneficial, and naturally rewarding substitute for any type of addiction. It may also reduce the risk of addiction in individuals who have a family history of it, in addition to significantly reducing the risk of cardiovascular disease and mood disorders. But like all rewards, exercise should be used in moderation, and not interfere with an individual's normal daily functioning."
A second key finding was that hamsters that displayed greater sensitivity to the disruptive effects of constant light on circadian rhythms also craved alcohol less. "Thus, there may be an underlying genetic predisposition for alcohol dependence and abuse that is expressed under challenging circadian conditions," said Glass, "such as shift work, sleep problems or repeated jet-lag exposure."
"Several research groups have recently become interested in relationships between circadian clocks, exercise, and alcohol and drug abuse," said Rosenwasser. "In general, research in this area has shown that alcohol abuse can dramatically disrupt biological rhythms, that these disruptions can promote subsequent alcohol abuse, and that exercise is an important environmental factor influencing both circadian rhythms and alcohol drinking. These studies have opened several new directions for alcohol researchers, and raise the hope that circadian-based and/or exercise-based interventions may be developed for improved management of the serious and debilitating disorders associated with excessive drinking."
"Many members of the general public, and indeed, many medical professionals, continue to view alcohol abuse and alcohol addiction as character flaws and as failures of 'willpower,'" said Rosenwasser. "Findings such as these help put alcohol abuse disorders in a broader biological context, and show that both physiological and environmental factors contribute to excessive alcohol intake. Accordingly, these physiological and environmental factors will need to be addressed in order to effectively control alcohol abuse and other forms of excessive behavior."
